Pre-Planning a Funeral: A Complete Guide
Pre-planning a funeral is one of the most thoughtful gifts you can give your family. By making your wishes known in advance, you spare your loved ones the burden of difficult decisions during an already emotional time — and you ensure the service reflects who you truly are. This guide walks you through the benefits, the process, and the conversations that make pre-planning meaningful.
Why Pre-Plan a Funeral?
Reduces family stress
When a death occurs, families are asked to make dozens of decisions within hours — from the type of casket to the music at the service. Pre-planning removes this pressure and gives your family the space to grieve rather than plan.
Ensures your wishes are honored
A pre-plan is your opportunity to specify exactly what you want: burial or cremation, a traditional service or a celebration of life, specific readings, songs, or charitable donations in lieu of flowers.
Locks in today's prices
Many funeral homes offer pre-payment options that allow you to lock in current prices, protecting your family from future cost increases. This can result in significant savings over time.
Eases financial burden
Pre-planning gives you time to compare prices, explore payment options, and budget accordingly — rather than leaving your family to make expensive decisions under time pressure.
What to Include in Your Pre-Plan
A comprehensive funeral pre-plan covers both the practical and personal details of your final arrangements:
Type of disposition
Decide whether you prefer burial, cremation, green burial, or another option such as alkaline hydrolysis (water cremation). If you choose burial, specify whether you want a casket burial or a vault. If cremation, note whether you want your ashes scattered, interred, or kept in an urn.
Service preferences
Indicate whether you want a traditional funeral with a viewing, a memorial service without the body present, a celebration of life, a graveside-only service, or no formal service at all. Specify religious or cultural traditions you want observed.
Personal touches
Choose readings, poems, hymns, or songs that are meaningful to you. Designate who you would like to deliver the eulogy. Specify any charitable organizations you would like to receive memorial donations.
Obituary preferences
Write a draft obituary or notes about what you would like included — your life highlights, surviving family members, and any organizations or causes you were passionate about.
Cemetery or final resting place
If you have a preference for a specific cemetery, mausoleum, or scattering location, document it. If you already own a cemetery plot, include the deed and location information.
Clothing and personal items
Note what you would like to wear and whether any personal items — such as jewelry, photographs, or letters — should be placed with you.
Understanding Pre-Planning Costs
Pre-planning itself is free — it simply means documenting your wishes. Pre-paying, however, involves entering a financial agreement with a funeral home. There are two common options:
Revocable Funeral Trust
You place funds in a trust that earns interest over time. You retain the ability to cancel the arrangement and receive a refund (minus any fees or interest already earned). This is the more flexible option.
Irrevocable Funeral Trust
The funds are permanently set aside for funeral expenses and cannot be accessed for other purposes. This type of trust is often used for Medicaid planning, as the funds may be excluded from asset calculations.
Before pre-paying, ask the funeral home about what happens if they go out of business, if you move to a different area, or if your wishes change. Make sure any agreement is in writing and that your family knows where to find it.
For a detailed breakdown of what funerals typically cost, see our guide to understanding funeral costs.
Documents to Gather
Having these documents organized and accessible will make the process smoother for your family when the time comes:
- •Birth certificate
- •Social Security card and number
- •Marriage certificate (if applicable)
- •Military discharge papers (DD-214) for veterans
- •Life insurance policies
- •Will, trust documents, and power of attorney designations
- •Cemetery deed or plot information (if already purchased)
- •Pre-paid funeral agreement (if applicable)
- •Contact information for your attorney, financial advisor, and insurance agent
Store these documents in a fireproof safe or a secure location, and make sure at least one trusted family member or your attorney knows where to find them.
Talking to Your Family About Pre-Planning
For many families, conversations about death and funeral planning feel uncomfortable. Here are some ways to make the discussion easier:
- •Frame it as a gift. Explain that pre-planning is about easing their burden, not about being morbid. Most families feel enormous relief knowing their loved one's wishes are documented.
- •Choose the right moment. A quiet afternoon or a planned family meeting works better than bringing it up at a holiday dinner. Some families find it easier to start the conversation after attending a funeral for someone else.
- •Start with practical details. Talking about where you keep your documents or what music you would like at your service can feel less heavy than discussing the big picture. Let the conversation evolve naturally.
- •Put it in writing. After the conversation, write down your wishes and share copies with your family and your funeral home. A verbal agreement is not enough — having a written plan prevents confusion later.
Choosing a Funeral Home for Pre-Planning
Not all funeral homes offer the same level of service or pricing. When choosing a funeral home for your pre-plan, consider the following:
- •Do they offer the type of service you want (traditional burial, cremation, green burial, celebration of life)?
- •Are they willing to provide an itemized price list, as required by the FTC Funeral Rule?
- •What happens to your pre-paid funds if the funeral home closes or is sold?
- •Can you transfer your pre-plan to another funeral home if you move?
- •Do they have positive reviews from families in your community?
You can browse funeral homes in your area on WhoPassedOn to compare options, read reviews, and find a provider that feels right for you.
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